My favorite princess is Belle, and so I was hoping it was going to tell me that I was a girl looking for adventure, loves fairy tales with brave heroes, loves her family with a passion, and is not afraid when she needs to face a serious problem.
"You love reading. You are a girl who reads. You likely post on your Tumblr about all the books you love, and all the tea you drink, and all the cats you identify with emotionally. No matter how full the town jock’s chest hair is — or how much he wants to get into your provincial French panties — you are not putting up with his misogynistic antics. You have read way too much feminist theory to deal with a guy who only likes you because you’re good-looking and don’t want him. You've got better things to do, such as read more books."
It didn't. At all.
This was the description:
I think that is just about the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life.
It is pretty much saying that you are a feminist who really likes to read and doesn't want a pompous man. I think this completely misses the entire point of Belle from Beauty and the Beast. In fact, this article really misses the point of pretty much each and every princess that it mentions.
Don't worry though, I am here to set the record straight. I am going to take each Princess mentioned and tell what I think about them.
Edit: A few of the ladies who are mentioned are not strictly speaking, princesses. Just go with it. If you don't get upset, I won't.
As I said earlier, she is not just about reading. I think she is about being well-read. She wants more from life than just being stuck in a small town that doesn't understand her. She actually sang a whole song about it. Also, she not only does not fall for the man who eats raw eggs, but she actually gets snarky with him. It may be my favorite part of the movie. Except for the screaming match between Belle and the Beast. That was pretty funny.
So in the end, we have a happy, well-read, brave, family-oriented, fiercely independent woman who is ready to find her place in the world. She is quite the belle too, if you'll pardon my French.
I feel as if I should point out a few things. Firstly, Ariel is a mythical creature that is a half fish half person. Relating to her may be a bit of a stretch. Second, she has some serious issues with following directions. If someone, especially your father, tells you that your idea is bad, you may want to listen. Especially if it involves selling your voice to a octopus-witch who looks like a terrorist. Finally, she is attracted to a man who may or may not even be the same species as her. It would be like me being attracted to a dog-prince, and changing myself into a dog to be with him. Even if it was not completely wrong in every sense of the word, she is only attracted to him because of the way he looks.
I'm sure that will work out in the end Ariel. But be careful not to turn into sea-foam.
3. Rapunzel
Rapunzel is the story a girl who has been in a sort of solitary confinement for about 18 years. She can only remember meeting one person, ever. This poor girl's best friend is a chameleon named Pascal. I cannot even begin to understand what kind of deep-rooted psychological issues this girl will have to live with for the rest of her life.
And honestly, the evil witch couldn't tell Rapunzel that her birthday was a different day? I mean you have 364 other days to pick from. This entire plot could have been avoided if the witch wasn't a moron. I call shenanigans on this whole movie.
4. Mulan
So Hua doesn't go to the Chinese military to show tons of bravery, or be a cross-dresser, or even a super feminist. She goes because her father is old and tired, and she doesn't want him to die in war. So instead of being useless, she decides to take his place in war and fight for her country. It is a very selfless act done for the benefit of her family, especially her father.
Later she decides to stay not only because she doesn't have anything better to do, but also because she wants to protect the people of her country. She also feels a strong sense of devotion toward her unit and does not want to see them in harm. Hua Mulan is a hell of a role-model for women everywhere.
5. Jasmin
Now this one I actually agree with the description it has. Jasmin is the type of girl that does whatever she wants, whenever she wants to do it. Mostly because she can get away with it. I would say she doesn't really know much about the world, and she doesn't care. As long as she gets what she wants everything is ok.
Also, if she dressed like that in the Middle East she would probably be executed. Brutally.
6. Aurora
I feel that if her parents had pulled her into the loop more, this would have ended way differently. I mean just a "Hey there, you might want to steer clear of Spinning Wheels. And any creepy people near a spinning wheel."
Also, why did the second Fairy choose song as her gift? I can understand beauty, but why not brains or intuition. She could have figured this out if she were a little brighter. Once again I feel like this whole plot really could have been avoided.
7. Cinderella
I feel bad for Cinderella. I mean she lost her father at a very young age and then got trapped by that beast of a step-mother. After a while though, you must have thought she would have just left. I mean how is that woman going to track her down if she just disappears. It couldn't have been that hard in those times to just become someone new.
She could have ran and married a cute baker or blacksmith. She would still do work, but at least then she would get sexy times and wouldn't have to dress and talk to mice in her free time.
8. Tiana
I can respect Tiana. She doesn't let anyone talk her out of a goal, even if she can't see it coming to fruition... ever. She really sticks to her guns. She doesn't take any bull from anyone, and does what she knows is right. She loves her family and is a generous person. She loves a spoiled little rich girl and guy even though they are different from her. And she is very pretty, but doesn't over-do it. I think Tiana is a very respectable person and character. I applaud Disney at creating such a well-rounded character.
9. Esmeralda
I don't know a whole lot about Esmerlda. Saying this, I think it is safe to say she did not do her job as a gypsy very well. I don't really know what her job was although am pretty sure it did not include befriending a man who had a physical defamatory and lived in a bell tower.
Well whatever her job was, she apparently had enough money for jewelry. I sure don't. So she probably wasn't a student who works at a library.
10. Snow White
Seriously, she is like 12. She hasn't even developed yet. The poor girl has lost her father, been imprisoned her whole life, and chased into the woods and threatened with death. I think she deserves a break.
She can have a slice of Apple Pie and relax.
11. Pocahontas
You know, the last time I asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned, he wasn't too happy with me. Apparently Pocahontas has special powers of not getting mauled by wild animals. Also she may be on something. If I started talking to trees, people would call me insane. Not her. She gets animals to braid her hair for her. I can't even get my dog to come to me when I ask him to.
No matter how you look at it, Pocahontas makes no sense. Whether it is her amazing ability to speak in perfect English even though she has never met anyone who speak that language before, or her uncanny ability to talk to inanimate objects, she just don't know when to stop. Please, dive off that 50 story high cliff and don't die.
Her story is iron clad.
12. Megara
I have some advice for all the ladies out there. When in doubt, sell your soul to the devil for your boyfriend's life. I am serious, this worked out great for Megara.
For real, I don't know what to say about this chick. She never really made an impact on me. I was always too enthralled with Hades as a character. Now that guy had enough personality to make up for everyone else missing one.
Well that was fun. I feel much better now. Sorry for it being so long, and thanks for hanging in there!
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Crowns and Daddy Issues.
Sarah Brescia
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